


I miss your love

by Unkn0wn28



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Queen (Band)
Genre: Based in 2017-2018, Book: Mercury and Me - Jim Hutton, Fluff and Angst, Freddie is not :(, Gay, Gay Couple, Gay Male Character, HIV/AIDS, I also wrote this at midnight so don't judge if its crappy, I cried when writing this, I hope you don't, Jim is alive, Jims POv on how he's coped without Freddie and his opinion on seeing Bohemian Rhapsody, M/M, Modern times, This Is Sad, jimercury, no smut (Obvi), old gay character, on the filming set of bohemian rhapsody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 22:40:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29798940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unkn0wn28/pseuds/Unkn0wn28
Summary: I talk to him every dayPeople must think I'm madTalking to your dead lover after he passed away nearly 3 decade agoPftt honestly i'm starting to think the sameBut I done careI know.....just somehow he can hear me.... I know somehow he knows or he has seen everything that has happened to me since his passing....I don't know how but I just knowSo everyday I end up speaking to him whether it's just an "I love you Freddie" "Goodnight baby" "I hope life up there is great I sure miss you" "I can't wait to see you again...Sometimes I just wish I'd be gone already...I mean i'd do anything just to see you smile again"Sometimes i'd have full blown conversations where I'd just imagine Freddie's voice in my head respondingHonestly at times it felt so real taste That I swore I could feel him cuddle up to me or at times stand before me....but in the blink of an eye it's gone.....Freddie is dead and there's nothing I can do except pretend he exists in my mind as if nothing happened.....maybe I am going mad?
Relationships: Jim Hutton/Freddie Mercury
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	I miss your love

**Author's Note:**

> What if Jim Hutton lived to this day?   
> What will his life be like the?  
> How will he opened without Freddie   
> And What if he was invited into the Bohemian Rhapsody set in 2018  
> What will be his opinion on the film?  
> How will he react?

**Jim pov**  
Here I was...back in London after what? 23 years? Wow 2 whole decades away in Ireland from a city I have called home for just under half my life ... and now the only reason I'm back is for some film about....Queen...about Freddie.  
I used to do alot of interviews a few years back only because I wanted people to know Freddie was more then some macho man on stage, I wanted people to know about the sweet,caring and shy Freddie I and few others got to see. Talking to people about my love....our love helps me alot...its good to know that I can no longer hide for who I am and how happy me and Freddie were even in our dying days. Some people think I do it for the money... I never did...Freddie's wealth meant nothing to me I always turned down when he tried to spoil and shower me with gifts. And yes I am given money but I always end up giving it to family or Freddie's aid awareness trust....so people will never rave to go through what the two of us did. Anyways I quit doing interviews back in around 2015 I mean I'm 69 now I just want to live the rest of my days in my quiet house in Ireland. So when a big Hollywood film business asked me if I wanted to come and be involved with a bio pic about Queen...about Freddie Mercury.....I was hesitant at first and so I didn't respond back for a while. And now 4 months later after ages of thinking I've agreed and made my way to England. 

_______

**At the set**

I stood outside some large building this is where they had been filming for now, I know because of how long it took me to respond so I've obviously missed alot of filming. I took a deep breath as I looked at the door .  
I then looked up to the sky  
"Well Freddie i'm sorry it took me ages to do this..... its just hard making decisions like this without your help " I chuckled softly  
________  
I talk to him every day   
People must think I'm mad  
Talking to your dead lover after he passed away nearly 3 decade ago  
Pftt honestly i'm starting to think the same  
But I done care   
I know.....just somehow he can hear me.... I know somehow he knows or he has seen everything that has happened to me since his passing....I don't know how but I just know  
So everyday I end up speaking to him whether it's just an "I love you Freddie" "Goodnight baby" "I hope life up there is great I sure miss you" "I can't wait to see you again...Sometimes I just wish I'd be gone already...I mean i'd do anything just to see you smile again"  
Sometimes i'd have full blown conversations where I'd just imagine Freddie's voice in my head responding  
Honestly at times it felt so real taste That I swore I could feel him cuddle up to me or at times stand before me....but in the blink of an eye it's gone.....Freddie is dead and there's nothing I can do except pretend he exists in my mind as if nothing happened.....maybe I am going mad?  
______  
"I- really miss you Fred.... and that's why I'm doing this....because this film will keep your legacy going from one generation to another.... its what you deserve my love your a legend and more importantly my husband " I paused before wiping away a tear "I love you"

I continued to look up at the sky before closing my eyes and imagining. ....  
"I love you too Jimmy " I could hear Freddie voice vaguely   
I felt his warm breath patter on the skin of my neck and even his arms around me  
God I wanted this to last forever even if it wasn't real.....  
I opened my eyes and again nothing there....  
I sighed before peering back over to the door  
\------  
I entered the filming set and was greeted by an assistant   
"Mr Hutton! It's good to finnaly see you, the director wants you to view this one scene with him at 3 pm so before hand there's a few people who want to meet you " She told me before walking up some corridors  
I followed quickly behind  
"Wait who wants to see me?"I asked   
"Oh just the two actors playing you and Mr Mercury and also Mr May and Mr Taylor said they'd like to see you " She answered   
"Who do I speak to first?"  
"Well Mr Mallek and Mr Mccuscker (The actors playing the two of you) are both busy getting ready for a scene so if you'd like I can take you too Mr Mays and Mt Taylor's dressing rooms?"She asked back  
I nodded and followered her  
The last time I saw Roger and Brian was at the song writers hall of fame since then I moved beck to my simple life in Ireland alone only seeing them briefly in documentary's we did together   
And so We made our way to their dressing rooms   
I ended up taking to the both of them for half an hour we hugged alot,talking about Queens days in the 80s with John and Freddie:  
"So How have you been Jim?"Roger asked  
Roger was the one I took to most, he was like Freddie's best mate the two definitely had a close bond and when it came to his funeral Roger was some of the few who gave me a hug and his condolences as of I was the widow because I was but many others believed it was Mary....  
"Uh well you know pretty good I guess I just love a simple life alone with my cats in my Irish home nothing more to it " I answered "I would ask you the same But you're both famous rockstars so yeah "  
The two laughed  
"Well yeah but we're fine as well thanks Jim " Brian spoke  
Brian wasn't far behind even though he didn't have Rogers bond with Freddie, they were close never the less and the whole band generally cared about each other   
"So I'm guessing John's still outta the picture?"I questioned kindly   
"Yeah Freddie's......you know didn't affect him well they were pretty close Fred was like a big brother to John always looking our for him " Brian explained don't response  
"Sounds like Freddie......he always did looked out for people " I responded with a sad look "I don't blame John I can barely continue life without him....I mean I loved him what more is there to it....nobody can ever replace him or what I felt in the relationship even if that means I die bloody alone at least I'll wake up in heaven or something with Freddie again gosh I must sound like a sappy madman to you"  
Roger placed a hand on my shoulder   
"I know what you mean.... and we don't because well I remember those nights in the studio where Freddie ended up ranting about how much he loved you.....there was something there Jim you both cared about each other it's reasonable " Roger said gently   
"Yeah well thanks anyways I agree with everything you do now you know continue on Queens name and music...your legacy...his legacy"  
"Thats great to hear Jim " Brian said patting my shoulder "Oh and I found a bunch of Freddie's stuff in garden lodge when I visited and I found this-"  
He send handing me a photo

This had to be one of my favourite pics of me and Freddie from his smile to his tight grip on my arm just made everything right about it. I already had a bunch of photos of us and him but this one was always special to me   
I felt tears swelling in my eyes   
"Thank you"I croaked out  
_______

**Whilst filming the 'Jimercury' scene in Bohemian rhapsody**

I sat down with Brian, Roger and the director as I watched Rami and Aaron play me and Freddie   
I spoke to them before hand and they're amazing they whatever genuinely really kind and good people also they may not look exactly like us but we're close enough now I just had to see how they performed.

I watched in awe yes this wasn't accurate yes some parts of their film made me think of why they'd portray Freddie like this in an awful way? But then again it was just dramasied truth for entertainment and fiction not a documentary so what is there to do.  
But when I saw Rami as Freddie and Aaron as me performanong that scene was serial....like watching Freddie and me back in the mid 80s again both healthy and happy no fear of death as we didn't know at the time not like it changed anything between us at all because even in his death bed I loved him because he's my man and even though he looked frail and dying by the minute he was still the Freddie I loved years before and nothing changed that....it was like that vow you know? In sickness and in health 

I looked up at Rami and Aaron as they acted

"You look like you could use a friend" Aaron spoke closely to Rami staring longingly into each others with smile son their faces

I smiled before closing my eyes and opening them again and it was like seeing him and Freddie again in their youth 

"Do you love me?"I could hear Freddie ask the question that he did on a daily basis   
"Of course I love you more then anything in the world"  
I would respond with my youthfull voice that wasn't clouded over with years of smoking

I looked back at the actors when Aaron pulled Rami into a kiss

  
And again before me I saw mu young self kissing the love of my life all those years ago

"I like you"  
"I like you too Freddie"

I looked down at the picture of Freddie and me, I placed my hand on Freddie   
"I love you Freddie..and I miss you...I miss your smile...I miss your laugh...I miss you talent... I miss you cuddles... I miss your eyes..I miss you amazing personality and I miss you love for me"I whispered "I hope life is great up there I will be waiting patiently for the day we reunite my love"   
I then kissed I photographed Freddie before popping the picture into my wallet

**Nobody's pov**

And back in Heaven Freddie looked through the TV and observed his lover, he placed a hand on the glass and then leaned his head against it sadly  
"So will I Jim....I love and miss you too..."

**THE END**

  
I hope you liked this short darlings I was inspired by this Jimercury fan fic on AO3 called judgement day where Jim is alive and Talks to Aaron and Rami, it's a good and short read and so I'd decided to have motown twist on the idea and go by Jims pov if he were alive today so yh I'd hope you like it and If you cried like I did I'd do apologise 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this short darlings I was inspired by this Jimercury fan fic on AO3 called judgement day where Jim is alive and Talks to Aaron and Rami, it's a good and short read and so I'd decided to have my own twist on the idea and go by Jims pov if he were alive today so yh I'd hope you like it and If you cried like I did I'd do apologise


End file.
